Why nutjobs aren't allowed in STS...

[Ravage]

* Once the applicant completes the 2 games and is not a raving, schizophrenic, psychotic maniac, the applicant will be moved to Recruit Status.

But thats what makes the games interesting...take all the fun out of it why don't ya :p Good luck getting some semi-sane players Kiko!

[Kiko]

But thats what makes the games interesting...take all the fun out of it why don't ya :p Good luck getting some semi-sane players Kiko!

Ravage, I <3 U!

Bro, you don't even what Buddha and I have endured which has prompted me to place that requirement there, lol.:D

[Ravage]

Well at the last game I was at I witnessed Raider attempt to rape and\or dry hump another player mid game at Warzone (Although I was silent and semi-surprised at the time I rofled HARD about it on the way home), I can definately imagine some of the things that have gone on up in your neck of the woods :rolleyes:. And I think you mean to put <3 instead of V3 but I know what you meant :o

[Raider]

Well at the last game I was at I witnessed Raider attempt to rape and\or dry hump another player mid game

I had total consent.

And I didn't do that durring my trial period either . . . :cool:

[Ravage]

I had total consent.

And I didn't do that durring my trial period either . . . :cool:

Eh minor details...it was still funny\disturbing as hell

[Kiko]

Okay, I'm gonna set the record straight on why I have established this recruitment rule...

We once had an applicant. He seemed normal enough....albeit his inability to follow simple instructions and understand how email works. Still, he seemed normal enough....seemed.....until we met him in person.....

Then it began, the signs of mental instability began to show....

I had really long hair then and used to keep it in a ponytail; he began asking me for permission if he could put his hair in a ponytail too. I said sure, I don't really care...

Then, on a 12 hour road trip with my other teammates, he began to do the following...

Proclaim that the best way to get through a long trip -- based on his experience as having driven a truck for 6 different companies in 2 years -- is to place a life size stuffed animal in the passenger seat and interact with it like it was a real person. Yes, it truly makes the time go by when you have a stuffed toy to talk to about you most intimate thoughts and feelings for 13 hours straight.

Tell everyone in the car that in his place of employment he somehow pulled a shotgun on someone that he was having an argument with and settled it by placing it the shotgun on the person's neck and saying, "Now I'm right." Weird considering he worked in a hardware box store.

Checking into a motel and cruising the lobby in full combat gear with a black trenchcoat on, wheeling a ton of Airsoft replicas through the lobby with just his trench coat covering the arsenal and whispering to my friend that, "We are mysterious!"

This is just in a nutshell, the mere tip of the iceberg. I have an 8 page AAR on this guy with so much detail it would bore the fuck out of Einstein.

Now you know.

[Ravage]

Yeah I see your point that is a bit over the top although I have long (and dead sexy ;)) hair that I keep in a ponytail and I'm not the least bit mentally unstable...I think...At least the voices say I'm completely fine..:D..ANYWAYS yeah I can see your point with the no hardcore nutjobs allowed is fine but the rest of us fun and lovable nutjobs are still ok right?:p

Then it began, the signs of mental instability began to show....

I had really long hair then and used to keep it in a ponytail; he began asking me for permission if he could put his hair in a ponytail too. I said sure, I don't really care...

[Kiko]

ANYWAYS yeah I can see your point with the no hardcore nutjobs allowed is fine but the rest of us fun and lovable nutjobs are still ok right?:p

Well, of course. Why do you think I love all you guys in The Renegades?;)

[Ravage]

Uh because we're all so damn good looking? well....at least I am...I dont know what happened to the other guys :rolleyes:

[SACSlym]

awesome, i love stories

[Hush]

Would you please PM me that AAR!! I need a good laugh

[Ubez]

That guy still shows up to games....and he CONTRIBUTES NOTHING IN A FIREFIGHT!!!

wtf, seriously.

[SACSlym]

I had wondered about that kid, granted my only two experiences with him were when I thought from a distance that he was a girl, and two when he went full auto on a bunch of Horsemen coming down a hallway in GT.

[DCU 7-5]

reminds me of my first game at gt... boy was that fun

[Serge]

Please post more of this story. It's teh funny.

Thank you,
Serge

[Kiko]

Apparently my attempt at anonymity has failed, lol.

Ok here is the first part of the AAR. Be warned, it is a fuckin wall of text, but entertaining in hindsight.

Let us call him "Joe"....

Part 1 of AAR:

OK first off, Joe isnt that bad of a guy when he's calm and just hangin out. He's got a lot of wierd little quirks that can be easily overlooked but do become a little annoying after a while. First up is his obsession with called people terrorists. Every person he see he'll go that persons a terrorist, or he'll be talking about how big a line is and be like their all terrorists. Another thing is his obsession with the word dirka. Dirka dirka as we eat breakfast, dirka in the car, dirka during lunch lol. but Anyways. The ride started out well, got some food and got on our way. First thing i noticed was his problem with interrupting, youd start to say something and he would cut you off by yelling and start talking about something different or already covered or about something your trying to tell him about. When you start to go to sleep he'd start talking again. And i think he farts in the car silently, because i didnt fart and it wasnt ayla but it would start to stink every now and then and then not stink. Unconfirmed though. But thats is jsut little crap that gets you started. First thing was when we got to the hotel. We checked in and started unloading our stuff via a dolly. Joe brought like 8 guns and only 3 rifle cases. So during the last few trips he insisted on me wearing my hoody down and then taking it off and covering a gun on the way back up saem with his od bdu tops...(not suspicious at all) One thing that irked me was his habit right before opening the truck. He do a turn left look over the shoulder and then turn right look over the shoulder then slink down to the trunk and open in slowly while looking around the whole time. On one of the trips down we're were walking right through the main hallway near the desk lady and he coems real close to me and whispers into my ear, We're mysterious. Meanwhile i think to myself, we're not mysterious we're damned suspicious becuase of you and gunna get the police called. we had the saw on a dolly just covered by his bdus. But anyways he insisted we bring every single gun up and "familiarize" ourselves with the guns. he wanted me to carry a saw, and m203 launcher (not mounted on anything jsut used as a "shotgun") a co2 uzi with one mag, and my pistol. he claimed i needed to carry an arsenal. Btw when you said before aobut him seeming pushy, I would say he doesnt seem pushy he is pushy. He wanted us to load up every mag the night before the game(1230 when we started) and not go to bed until that was done. I loaded 9 and then said eff this im too damn tired. when i tried to explain to him the game isnt scheduled to start until 10 he insisted we wake up at 530 and be there at 7 for "parking". Luckily we expplained it to him and managed to get up at 645 and there at 830 which parked in a nearly empty lot and then we registered waited around doing nothing while everyone loaded mags and familiarized their weapons until 1130 (late start of course). Oh yea, In the hotel he had just bought a new black vest with a hydration carrier in it. He insisted that he take out the hydration and put the m203 in it instead. I told him that was useless and hed want the water. He told me he will just drink off my canteens because I'm not carrying anything anyways.(Just a saw, 3 full canteens, pistol/mags, radio and food and maps. During the game we would start together, Me and ayla would be together then he would be gone. He could up with me one time and was like here take these your not carrying anything i need to get rid of some weight and passes me two full bags of .20 ksc perfects, dunno how many but it was effing heavy in the buttpack. On top of this he insisted on everything being done right now and out as soon as possible. This lead to the forgetting of multiple needed items and gear at the hotel which he did not want to drive back to get.(5 mins away) During downtime he had a habit of just wandering around to different groups and standing around them while they talked and if they said anything he had an opinion on he blurted in, at which time players would look at him funny say yea ok, w/e and turn back to their conversations. Not a good show for the rest of NH Filforce. LOL another thing he said was what if kiko has to drop out becuase of gout theyll probably want me to run the NH detachment. I laughed at this becuase I'd quit before I claimed to follow his lead.( i think many other would feel the same) During game time I whenever i did see him he was always just talking to someone in the back lines while they attempted to move up but didnt want to be rude. When ever Id respawn he was almost always there or on his way in during my 10 minute stay. Another thing he insisted on was carrying his mp5 and his m4 and telling everyone that hes doing this because he saw the gmr and "other" hard hitters as he said doing it. (when i have no clue) but this also got wierd looks from the crowd. During respawns he would always tell me how he doesnt like to dump ammo and that he like to take precision shots and then tell me how he blows through his 200 round hicaps. and then telling me and other how this is him 3rd time hit during this scenario and only having one kill. Mutliple times of course. He went around to almost everyone in the op introducing himself and tlaking to people.( no objections) the problem is what he said to people. People would be coming to talk to me and ayla and then see him sitting at our rock with us and then change directions. This is where i believe if you were there we would have known everyone well in the first 20 mins. (lol and yes they did mistake him for you at first yelling hey kiko! and then finding out its him and then they just leave. another thing was in the car as we geared up in the parking lot he insisted that me and ayla be fully geared before he gears up.

[Kiko]

Part 2 of AAR....

Dont know why but he was complaining about have to wait 20 mins for us it was 5 the most before he could put his vest on. Another thing that i disaproved of was his attitude in thinking he was in the military. in the car he would say i bet your guys are like how the hell is he doing this driving for 6 hours at 11 at night, how in the hell, I guess its just the soldier in me to be truthful. When the hotel manager asked if we were withthe other army guys i had to say no we were because he started to say yes. WHen the guy asked him if he was in the army he said yes.( Bad Answer) THen he asked me and i told him no and that i was still in highschool. Joe also liked to talk about how he used to be a captain on his other team because he spent 4 years in rotc. (why 4 years but nothing in the military who knows) He also told me about how all these people were arrogant blah blah blah,. Later i figured out why they were "arrogant" in his eyes. After the game we wanted to go get some food and then hangout at the hotel. He insisted we get chinese food. When i said i cant eat chinese after running around and ayla said she doesnt like chinese food he said never mind that once you have some youll love it itsgreat. Lets just get some. We argued for a while about it. and he decided to ask the lady at the desk where to go. When we finally got a list from he we all decided to go to popeyes chicken at a mall nearby. Now the whole way down Joe was ragging on Ayla's garmin about how they suck and will get you lost but refused to tell any type of story about his encouter with a garmin. He just claimed that he had one and it was stupid and sucked but never gave any type of details. He even later described about how he had a "friend" who worked somewhere (he didnt say) who hooked him up with a the lowest model garming when garmin first came out. (basically defeating his own argument) But still insisted Aylas was crap and the tomtom owned its shit even though the tomtom told us were in the ocean whne we were going over a bridge, changing routes, putting the car in the woods. saying turn right here and theres no road, and saying heres the mall when the mall is actually 2 exits up and to the left and through a huge parking lot past a bunch of stores. This all mad ayla mad because he wouldnt lay off the garmin and always talked condescendingly towards her. Even after i told her to cool it and she would he would start up again about the garmin being crap which made her mroe angry. At one point she was yelling at him and he was just like hey stop it or ill be forced to do drastic things. at which point he slammed on the brakes at a stop light which pissed me off. He then said what ever you just like my boss arrogant and impatient. (this is when i saw people were not arrogant they were just fed up with his shit). Now comes the fun parts. During driving around he told us about how he doesnt like taking left turns becuase some girl hit him while on her cell phone when he made a left turn. How the hell that would have been her fault is beyond me. While waiting to merge at a yeild sign there was a two lane road and the right lane which he should have one into fluently was completely empty yet he waited for both lanes to clear. Meanwhile the car behind us in flipping us off and honking the horn. When they pass us he decides to "skip" the mall and act like we're following her. smashing the gas to accellerate very quickly to get reall close to her then slammingo n the brakes when she stops. ( i was pissed he just starts cracking up saying i bet shes scared now blah blah she wont mess with us again.) Meanwhile im thinking we're gunna bet shot be someone around us whos pissed that his driving.( which by the way sucks when hes not on the highway. anyways we finally stop somewhere and he goes im getting coffee and just goes to dunkin donuts and gets coffee. here he goes im turning this off and turns off the tomtom which is guiding us around this area where we have no idea where to go becuase he said we think its stupid. when i explained to him its not stupid it just makes mistakes and that we need it he goes no its stupid im turning it off. which the whole time the car is running and he refuses to turn it off while we argue for 15 mins about turning back on t tomtom becasue we need it. He then decides that when it says turn right he goes i want to go left and takes 5 extra mintues going in a huge circle to where we just were and then going right like it said. W/e we finally make it into the mall and go to get popeyes he decides that he will get japanese food and look around. Ayla and i order our chicken and go looking for him. when we find him he has decided to buy 20 pieces of chicken and no japanese food. Basically wasting the 17 dollars ayla and i just spent because we had plenty with waht we bought and then he bought for everybody. WHen we get back we decide to watch a movie on the telly and he is like lets watch alvin and the chipmunks or jerry springfeilds bee movie(when ayla informs him is seinfeld not springfeild he insists is springfeild and calls her arrogant) Anyways we convince him to watch Rambo finally(kick ass movie, dont watch it with any actual refuguees of a war) and he kept blurting out comments and stuff about the movie i eventually tuned him out. Then he wanted to watch another movie keep in mind by this time its 11 after 8 hours of airsoft( tells you something about his hustle on field) me and ayla are dead he wants to stay up all night. So we watch the golden compass cuz he really wanted to watch it and i was kinda interested in the idea. Also earlier he had offered to take us to the movies for dealing with his crap( very cool) but then when ayla said something abouot a movie he said that movie is gay and then asked what its about and refused to consider it. luckily the only one he was interested was 10k bc which i was waiting to watch at home anyways and that started a 740 we;re standing at the pre order at 7;35. so then we went to go get food. After all the movies and such we all went to bed without an agreed upon wakeup time. 730 rolls aroudn and im dead asleep with the lights flash on and hes running around turning on as many lights as possible. i was expecting him to rip my covers off to get me to wake up. he goes its time lets go.( like we're in a movie) He grabs my door key and goes im gunna check out cya downstairs at breakfast dont forget anything in the room im waiting. So i made sure i took my damn time combing the room to make sure nothing was left behind becuase there was no going back. Also he insisted on going out in public in a his od bdu top which he had worn all day and a od boonie hat with back bdu pants and his gi issue boots. he claimed it made him look professional like a mercenary while ayla and i had donned normal clothing. Now having lost my train of thought due to an interruption the only thing i can think of now was his habit of stopping for gas when we were at a half tank and only 2 hours left to the trip. Oh yea also when him and ayla were arguing in the car he claimed to have argued with an italian before at his work and said to never argue with one. When ayla informed him she was scicilian he said the guy was both and that the way he won the arguement was by taking his "fully loaded 12 gauge" and putting it up to his head and stating I'm right.(why he had a gun at lowes idk and how he didnt get fired) he then told us he was crazy and to be afraid.( at this point i was not happy at all during the night) Overall he can be a good guy and can be generous when hes not excited but when he gets into a weird mood watchout. Overall i think the people who saw ayla and me in action and talked to us thought we were good people but the ones who only saw Joe or Joe and us i dont beleive we left a good impression. He also was always asking me so do you think theyll let us into filforce? which i then informed him you are already in filforce just not a full member. Kiko approved you, you represent his decision making. You are in filforce. He then cut me off by saying yea i know but do you think theyll let us in. He also claimed that Shogun was arrogant.... He seemed nice to me when i talked to him, i told him SHogun had things to do and was busy coordinating. he claimed that he was still arrogant. anyways thats about it for now. If i tihnk of anything else I'll let you know. Joe seems nice but very sketchy. Idk what to do with him. Good luck making a decision:)
Buddha out

Suffice to say, I fired his ass!

[Raider]

Ok, so he's a douche.

The real question is, why the fuck would anyone put that kind of effort into that detailed of an AAR about suck a prick.

My AAR would have been.

Joes a fucking dick, infact he's such a dick that he should suck an entire bag of dicks. If he gets one / remains on the team, I'll puke a little in my mouth and go somewhere else.

/END

[Kiko]

Ok, so he's a douche.

The real question is, why the fuck would anyone put that kind of effort into that detailed of an AAR about suck a prick.

My AAR would have been.

Joes a fucking dick, infact he's such a dick that he should suck an entire bag of dicks. If he gets one / remains on the team, I'll puke a little in my mouth and go somewhere else.

/END

I needed detailed documentation before I could drop the axe:p.

[SACSlym]

I got 3/4 of the way through before deciding I hate this person and I don't want to know anymore.

[Kiko]

I got 3/4 of the way through before deciding I hate this person and I don't want to know anymore.

LOL! Come on, someone finish this masochistic experience of a post!

[Brazzy]

I have to say I am astonished by this thread. Not by the weirdo described, but by Kiko's spelling. My goodness! Using all kinds of psychological words that most people wouldn't use just so they won't have to spell them. I'm not a grammar nazi, but right off the bat in the first post I saw schizophrenic spelled correctly I immediately thought: "Well done sir!, well done!"

[Kiko]

LOL....the AAR was written by my XO, Buddha. But thanks.

[Blackout]

LOL! Come on, someone finish this masochistic experience of a post!

I'm halfway through. I'll finish it once my eyes stop bleeding lol. Walls of text hurt.

[samson]

i read the WHOLE thing, the whole tormenting wall of text. My eyes burn and i dont know how to further carry on with my day. i do not like"joe" my hatred is so pure and so immense that i have no idea what to do with my new found hate. somebody please.....call Dr.Phill

[friggin sean]

Joe, sounds like someone I used to know. Worst vacation ever is how I can summarize my time with that person. Basically I hate Joe now.

[jmb91]

i love how you guys somehow didnt get the cops called on you for walking through a hotel lobby with a m249. sounds like "joe" definitely made the trip interesting.

[SACSlym]

joe, will now be deleted from any video i have, as he is in them.

[BRAD]

if you want sexy pictures for the opening of the video got to my site, sexybradwildandcrazy69.com












































if you are one of the dumb asses who actually put this into your computer to see what was on the site, i actually don't know if it is one, post up, i wanna see how many stupid people be got;)

[Blackout]

I very nearly did. I got as far as highlighting the text and was about to press Ctrl + C to copy it when I noticed what it actually said.

[BRAD]

:) so close

[Ravage]

I just have one thing to say after reading that wall o' text....lollerskates. That is all, carry on.

[Buddha]

Good times in New Jersey

[Hush]

Please tell me this retard is still around! I would love to meet him, and give him the full AEGIS treatment. On the otherhand, he does sound like an unbalanced school shooter...... Eh it would be worth it to pick on him all day.

[Kiko]

Please know that I still have a second AAR, written from the lovely PoV of Buddha's significant other.

[Hush]

Stop teasing and post! I just wish I had a picture to go with the story. I would have ditched this tool and gone home alone. Switched hotel rooms in the middle of the night. Sounds like the kind of idiot that makes you look bad just for associating with him.

[Serge]

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Thx for the post

satan must be torturing that poor soul very terribly
I mean, you only had to spend a few days with him, but he has to live like that all the time

[Ubez]

Wait Kiko...I don't believe the person depicted in Sac's photo is our "Joe".

Is Joe the guy who shows up to RPC and FGF being wicked creepy, wearing a full ACU loadout, and just....really...really...awkward? Also kinda Fat....

[Tank]

that AAR hurt my brains...

[Hush]

If you read the AAR, I believe he's refered to as (edited to protect the privacy of the innocent and mentally retarded).....hope I diddnt blow anyones cover....well not really

[Ravage]

If you read the AAR, I believe he's refered to as .....hope I diddnt blow anyones cover....well not really

well in half the aar its 'joe' and the other half its ..... ;)

[Cobalt-IROPS]

Cover is blown, there is plenty of identifying info in there.

Ubez- you know who it is.

[Kiko]

Ahhhh shit! Engage mad editing damage control skillz.

Those who know, know.

[Ubez]

Omfg. It Is Him!!! Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

I Thought Suicide Was The Silent Killer?! Why Is He Alive!

[Kiko]

Omfg. It Is Him!!! Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

I Thought Suicide Was The Silent Killer?! Why Is He Alive!

Oh my god....THE HORROR...THE HORROR.....:eek:

[SACSlym]

Covers blown we all know its him.



















http://images.businessweek.com/ss/06/09/ceo_socnet/image/burger-king.jpg
God I hate him.

Go about your bussiness.

[Kiko]

No worries. I will give you guys a heads up in case he shows up.